Since my ex and I went our separate ways I have been hiding from anything that involves an emotional attachment. Which led to a string of solely physical encounters that fulfilled a need and at the same time came without the obligation of an actual relationship. It was all good at first I thought that I could just go on that way for ever and shield myself from the inevitable vulnerability that all love brings.

However recently I started messing around with a close friend of mine. At the time I just took it as a mistake shared between two lonely friends that needed something from each other at the time. We talked about it and agreed to leave it in the past and move as JUST friends. I knew that she was only agreeing in the name of keeping the peace but it would be better that way I thought. We continued on sharing moments of passion however until she went back to Tulsa. After that I thought that everything would go back to normal just like that. Boy was I wrong.

Anyways it has been a few weeks since she left and everything has gone all topsy turvy on me. I feel myself constantly questioning everything that happened or should of happened. A couple days ago she called and said that just being my friend would not work for her anymore that she wanted to date and see what else we could be. As I sat there running over all the reasons that we shouldn't and/or how I couldn't I realized that all that is bullshit. I have been hiding from life and love because of the possibility that I might get hurt.

In all truth my past has been full of let downs and heartbreak although who's hasn't. I want to give her my everything and I intend to do just because well I am ready for love!!!