Tell me what it means to be truly alone cause it's obvious by your tone that you don't think I know.

But baby can't you see I'm here is this oblivion as lonesome as I have ever been. It is like being in the deep end when you cannot swim.

I could not dry your tears and I was unable to calm your fears even after giving everything I had near.

No I'm not saying that I was perfect I did many things to you that I regret and I still can't seem to make them right yet.

I remained weak after promising a million times to be strong enough for you. Shit...now I'm really coming unglued.

Okay lets say it...I needed you more then you needed me I will be honest I have not been quite happy.

Oh hell what am I doing...I am bound to hurt her by calling on you but dialing your number I cannot undue.

Hearing Your quiet voice on the end of line has made tonight feel some what like old times.

I do understand that we can never go back and don't worry baby I don't even really wish for that.

I just had to unload and I pray that I am not speaking in code...no in order to move on with my life I had to at least try and make our past right.

Written By: Sami heart-Speaker

Copyrighted@2008



Or at least that is sort of how the conversation went...a little less rhyming though. It has been really hard lately ecspecially it being summer and all. Although I feel much better have told my ex everything I needed to tell her. I guess now time is the only remedy for this slightly broken heart.

She is very close friend and recently the boundaries have began to bend. I keep asking myself "What the hell are you doing"?

It started with a secret crush which I must admit gave me quite a rush, but I never thought I would be referring to this sort of us.

At her house alone and suddenly things took on a new tone...knew we were probably moving too fast but we were in the zone.

We were only supposed to add some benefits to this friendship but now we went and caught some feelings I'm so terrified of this.

I don't want to loose what we already have and trying to actually make this work might just be far too risky.

That been there and done that feel has taken over me today but this girl is not that girl...do you know what I am trying to say?

I don't know she is so very different and confident...not like the other. I just think somehow that it will end unhappily.

Written By: Sami Heart-Speaker
Copyrighted@2008

Her tears fall on my ears and her voice is all I can hear. I am searching but cannot find my choice anywhere.

To live in this temporary bliss has become so undenyable mandatory. There is no new ending to this story.

I know what I will feel like tomorrow morning but tonight my will power is fading ever so quickly.

I keep thinking better of my idea to stay and hear her out but this has far exceeded a thinking thing by now.

No in this moment it is all about feeling and right now I am feeling the pull of this mandatory mistake in the making.

Written By: Sami Heart-Speaker

Copyrighted@2008

Today a close friend of mine got the worst news imaginable...a friend of hers had passed suddenly and in a violent manner. He was hit by stray bullet as he and his cousin walked down the street in New York, NY. It was apparently gang violence that spilled over into the street. As a result a nineteen year old boy is dead. He graduated last week. He had plans and a family...he was not just a casualty. Watching her break down over the news I myself realized something. Tomorrow in not promised for ourselves or to those we love. It is a hard fact to face but it is a true one that must be seen. I thought what if it had been hearing that someone I loved was gone without me being able to say goodbye. As I tried to console her I felt her pain and shock flow through me. It is a tragedy but also in a way a wake up call for us both. After the tears stopped she told me that she wanted to say thank you. I was a little caught off guard but nodded and listened. She told me that she needed me to know that she appreciated everything I had ever done for her and she loved me.     More tears streamed from my eyes after hearing her words. I then thought of all the people I needed to say those things to before it was too late. I never want to hear that someone is gone before telling them all that I need to say. It might sound selfish...me taking so much from an event in someone elses life. Although there was a reason I was there today and believe it was to be there for her and to see that tomorrow is always at stake but today in the only certain thing life.  

Her written words are filled with sincerity and when shes say "I Love you" she types it with a kind of certainty.

Although something in me still does not believe in all these things that I am reading. No, I think she is lying.

I know it must be lonely locked away in an invisible closet but I have to say that I don't hold the key. I can't save her today.

She is reaching out for the touch of the familiar but I cannot be her connection to the real world anymore.

As I go on with life on the other side of a broken dream I try to forget all the things this heart of mine has seen.

So I am asking please baby just let me be. I can't deal with all the messages begging me to come back besides we both know I can't do that.


Written By: Sami Heart-Speaker
Copyrighted@2008