Today is my first day without a cigarette in almost five years. As you can imagine I am going totally crazy at this particular moment. I don't think I ever realized just how addicted I truly am until right now. As I sit here on the computer trying to take my mind of the smoky goodness that my body keeps craving. Part of me feels like screaming the other feels like crying I don't really now what I was thinking when I agreed to quit. Possible about my health and life expectancy but now none of that seems to matter at all, trust me I know how odd that must sound to a none smoker but it is the truth. I smoke usually a pack to a pack and a half a day, so I feel like shit right about now. It is sort of pitiful it is only 1:10 p.m. here and alreadt I am a bit shaky and manic...if you have'nt noticed. All I know is that I though quiting drugs and alcohol was hard, but it was nothing compared to this.

I love the movie Loving Annabelle so I thought I would post a music video about it. The song is Don't stand so close to me it is by Sting.

Looking back now I do believe that we meant something. I was your one and only secretly and you were my everything eternally.

Although in the presence of a new day there is just no way that I could return to that life of only loving quietly.

Now you want just one more chance to prove that you could give me what I need but out of all of your words not one do I believe.

You are not the right one for me and I cannot give you what you want from me. So let us do something different and just let it be the past.

I understand the need to make it last forever but are uncapable of making it work when together.

So I will go into tomorrow with a clean slate by leaving us where we belong in yesterday!

Written By: Sami Heart-Speaker
Copyrighted@2008