I know I already posted this once but it is my most favorite poem that I think I have ever written. So I thought I would do it again and get a couple more people to tell me what they think about it. This is my truth and the story of the things I went through and how I got here today. I have made a few adjustments but all in all it is the same. So enjoy and share your thoughts.
A three year old girl left standing in the drive, she doesn't understand why daddy is going to work with his bags packed.
Four years after that she gives up all hope. In the late hours of the night she tells herself "Nope...I guess he's not coming home".
To tell her family of her real feelings is a risk she cannot afford. So she goes on smiling quietly allowing her pain to be ignored.
On a seemingly normal day when she was eight, her aunt was sent to get her from school. She felt like a fool not comprehending what it meant when her aunt said "Sami your mom's been in an accident."
It was hard to breathe and she could barely see through the tears. As she felt the impact of the realization of her worst fear.
As she walked into her grandmother's house she saw the shell of her mother laying there on the couch.
When she looked into her mother's eyes she saw no sign of who used to be there.In her mind she screamed "Mommy why don't you remember me?"
Months passed with post-it's left on the fridge to help remind her mommy of special events.
Although after awhile her mother started getting better but this nine year old girl just couldn't shake the feeling that she'd never met her.
In the midst of all that something else was still looming. This thing on her mind was so confusing.
She truly believed that nothing could be fine, no it couldn't be okay at least not if she were gay.
Three more years passed as time went on and the pressure continued to build. To deal with it all she drank and took pills.
In her sober moments she longed for that oblivion, that place where she didn't have to feel anything.
She cried out for help with batched suicide attempts. Although through her jaded eyes it didn't seem to phase them. So she continued down that road of self-destruction.
One morning she reached her breaking point, fueled by an overdose there was an explosion of rage.
Yet after all of the smoke had finally cleared she felt something called hope for the first time in fourteen years.
Three more years have passed since that life changing day. Her sobriety still last and for that she gives thanks.
She is no longer that three year old on the curb or that seven year old too afraid to be heard.
Now she is seventeen and can finally see all the good that she not only deserves but has earned!
Written by: Sami Heart-speaker
Copyrighted@2008
