Next month he will be five this little miracle that has indoubtedly saved my life.

His smile is ten times brighter then the sun and he is a little bundle of pure love.

He looks at me with those big brown eyes and suddenly I forget all about disciplining.

Oh it is so crazy...when my sister told her secret I thought that the little thing would become a regret.

Although instead he has become the heart and soul of this entire family.

Written By: Sami Heart-Speaker
Copyrighted2008

When have I become so broken...how did that light in my eyes turn into this pain that I feel inside?

Why did I have to fall for reasons that I still can't recall? I know that you don't have the answers.Although I have to continue asking.

I had so many plans and I just let them all slip right out of my hands...damnit I still don't understand.

Everything just seems to bubbles up inside and hell I am not even sure why but today I realized that this is not me.

Where did that little girl who thought she could change the world run off to? Looking in the mirror I think damn is that really you.

The only conclusion that I come to is that everything changes...I guess that I am the proof.

Written By: Sami Heart-Speaker

Copyrighted@2008

People have said that time heals all wounds but this morning I found that saying to be utterly untrue.

It has been awhile since I last felt your presence stirring in this place and yet I am still burning from the sting of us ending.

My heart holds bittersweet memories that today carried me back into a broken hearted lovers oblivion.

Your lips, hips and thighs...the way your nose twitches when you tell a lie these things echo in my mind.

Laying in bed trying to clear my head but then it is your stare, hair and sweat. Why is so very hard to forget.

Even though your pictures are no longer on my walls and your letters have been locked away and hidden in a box.

I am still seeing and feeling you in this place all I have to do is close my eyes and I can see you face.

There is no ending to this story...you see moments and thoughts like these are completely reoccuring for me.

Written By: Sami Heart-Speaker
Copyrighted@2008

I am a little heart broken tonight. There are ao many memories running through my head. My ex and I first got together around this time of year...I remember the heat. We used to go back behind my house where our old 97' mustang sat broken down. It was the make-out spot for almost every kid in the neighborhood. Although to us it was our spot...we would make our memories there. It feels so long ago and then yet so close. I want to be over and I don't want to get back with her but it just hurts so much right now. I don't know why tonight has made me think of her maybe it is the way the air feels. Who knows...it is just hard at the moment. I keep seeing her face when I close my eyes. I am just rambling now but that how I feel...like a confused mess.

Today I am going to a BBQ at some of my dad's families house. My Aunt Ursala will be there and I am excited/scared to see them. The last time they saw me I was a kid with that sparkle in my eye. I just don't feel like that anymore and don't want them to be shocked by who I have become. My life has taken me to places that I never expected to go or really even survive through. Although here I am changed and different...I just want them to love the new me as much as they did the old one. Well who knows...I am just rambling at this point so I say goodbye.