I was so young and naive, had no choice but to believe in what you were saying.

All of your infamous promises sounded ever so sweet, quite honestly they intoxicated me.

I fell a victim to the romance that you were offering refusing to see that we never had a chance.

So like a drunken fool I went on loving you blacking out the warning signs your true character accidently let bleed through.

Feeling the passion in your kiss is probably the only thing that I am going to miss.

That naive love that once felt sent from above is no longer enough for this new and much wiser girl. So don't even bother promising me the world!

Written by: Sami Heart-Speaker


Copyrighted@2008

I went through an extremely traumatic event a little over two years ago. It left me completely destroyed I had nightmares that felt so real. I could feel everything that was happening in the dream even when I woke up. It seemed that I would be stuck there forever but over time everything got better. My scars began to heal and my mental health started to recover. A few months ago the dreams stopped it was incredible to sleep through night and not awake in a panic soaked in sweat and crying. Although the last few nights I have been having them again. Honestly I am terrified by this fact, I feel as if I am falling back into that place of fear and shame. I know that it must mean something to be having the dreams again, but what? I have made it so far from that place I just don't understand why it continues to follow me.

This month I have been thinking about my past a lot. Maybe it is because I celebrated two years clean and sober on the tenth. Either way I have been shaken by the sudden appearance of my growth as a person. Looking back now on who I was I am filled with gratitude for who I have become. It is crazy to me that I really have traveled this far. It all seems so surreal that only two years ago I was on the livingroom floor waiting to die and now I am facing the world living. My life is in no way what I expected it to be when I was younger it is so much better!!! In honor of that here is poem I wrote.


There was a little girl who felt alone in the crowd, she was too afraid to cry out loud.

Who knew that one day she would learn how to be proud?

Her pulse was once the enemy now she has found a beautiful melody in her own heartbeat.

Time was what she hated the most but today she looks forward to the growth.

Two years passed by so fast, now that little girl has found some peace with her past.

She no longer has to struggle with her demons because now she can recognize them.

She live in a place where there are room for mistakes.

The only crime would be to let this precious moment get away!!!

Written By: Sami Heart-Speaker
Copyrighted@2008

Recently I went to a vision quest, it is apart of my Native American spirituality. When there I felt something in me awake. It was amazing to feel so connected and aware for the first time. The beauty of all the energy that became so apparent was overwhelming, bringing me to tears many times. I never thought that I would become one of those spiritual types but i guess my higher power had other plans. I do not really know what this post is about but I felt the need to share my new view with others, so there ya go!!!